Justin Bieber Is Evil

He is here everyone. He is evil incarnate. He is Justin Bieber. Nostradumbass predicted hundreds of years ago that the end of days would pass when the boy with sissy hair rises to a prominent status in a country known as America. Nostradumbass said he would lure with his sweet voice and heart stealing lyrics. I first learned of this Bieberlicious succubus from my friend Abe Vigoda.

Abe and I were working on a Fruit of the Loom underwear commercial with Michael Jordan. We were in our trailer putting on the new scratch and sniff Fruit of the Loom Sponge Bob thongs we were preparing to model. I was helping Abe adjust his banana hammock (he is 86 years old you filthy animals) when he told me that he and Betty White were gifted with such longevity of life because they were placed on this big blue marble to warn the world of the evil dirty Bieber Revolution and Nostrodumbasses prediction. The commercial went well and Abe's hip did not give. Abe recieved a call from Dancing With the Stars immediately after the shoot. He is a hell of a break dancer. Dance Abe dance. He told me how Justin Beaver would take over the minds of our teenage children and Ozzy Osborne. So you may ask what the evil little bastards plan is and I have the answer. He is here to rid the world of listenable music and ruin the worlds air supply with garlic farts. When his fans listen to his music they get the subliminal message to eat at Quiznos and ask for extra garlic. That damn Quiznos I knew they were up to no good. So don't burn your Quarans, your Bibles, or Archie comic book kids burn your Bieber downloads and beat your child when they sing his music. It is the American thing to do trust me I'm a doctor in my own mind. Godspeed and let me know when you figure out how to torch a download.