Facefreak

How do you facebook? I use to be a Myspacer and had many spacefriends. I still say it was better for blogging but facebook has more true friends instead of virtual ones. Their Myspace page says they are a 35 year old happily married mother of two and if you could see the other end of the computer they are actually a six year old troll with narcolepsy and torettes. The way people Facebook is similar to how they Myspace. Some people simply try to be a better version of themselves on facebook. I love the people that have 700 hundred picture of themselves on their page. They are obsessed with themselves. The person who has a million pictures of them posted in a bathing suit should never frown upon the guy in public that checks her out. She wants to be checked out just not by him. Another great picture trick is the ole hold the camera over your head and take a shot of your face from an angle guaranteed to take thirty pounds off your face. I have been guilty of that one before. I look hot as shit from the air but if you see me head on you'll feel sorry for my wife. I like the post every detail of your day person. The Facebooker that posts they just tooted and brushed their teeth and five minutes later post they are eating kiwi fruit and five minutes after that post they like green Lego's crack me up. They best thing in facebook for my money are these random statements. Life is random so why not Facebook. I love the Facebook blogger. He wants to show you how brilliant and funny he can be but when you talk to the bucket head in real life you remember he is about as funny as a dildo falling out of your uncles trunk while he is unloading gifts to bring into your parents house on Christmas morning. That guy cracks me up...wait a minute never mind that guy is redonkulous and looks good from a hot air balloon. I always wonder when I either am friended or friend an old friend that was very attractive when we were young but they have no pictures on their page if they went south with the passing years. I like to think they did. Pictures go both ways. I have a couple former girlfriends on my Facebook friends list (bless their souls) and I am sure they look at my pictures and say to themselves , "Phew!! I dodged that bullet!!!" or maybe "His poor wife". The political Facebooker is a real daisy too. They post random psuedofacts about one side or the other but only that side. Like they may tell you how Sarah Palin hunts polar bears with a dildo she found in front of someones car one Christmas morning but ignore the fact that Obama was caught beating a parrot with a corncob on the White House front lawn. Onesiders I call them. I am the family Facebooker. I will rain on your page a million pictures of my red headed Stink whether you like it or not. At first you think oh how sweet and after a while you think okay enough already lets see some pictures of you in a bathing suit from a hot air balloon. Facebook is fun but don't take it too seriously. Facebook kindly and stay thirsty my friends.